Should I allow my 18-year-old daughter to continue to live with me after telling me she is gay?
My daughter lives with me, and I have 3 other children in the home. She has told me she is gay, and being 18, she said she can make that choice, but didn't want to hide it or lie. I am thankful for that. However, being a Christ follower and having other children in my home, do I allow her to stay or ask her to leave because we do not agree with this? Though she may be 18, we still pay her way. I don't know what to do.
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Jack Gutknecht
Supporter
Dear Anonymous, this is a hard situation, but your daughter’s honesty is a gift. Proverbs 12:22 says, “Those who act faithfully are his delight.” Her openness gives you the chance to respond with both truth and love. Your love for her must remain unconditional. Romans 5:8 shows that God loved us while we were still sinners, and 1 Corinthians 13:7 says love “bears all things.” Asking her to leave would risk rejection rather than showing Christ’s love. At the same time, you are responsible for your household. Joshua 24:15 says, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” You can welcome her while setting boundaries so that sinful practices are not brought into your home (Ephesians 5:11, 1 Corinthians 6:18)! Jesus came “full of grace and truth” (John 1:14). You can tell her, “I will always love you, but I cannot compromise God’s Word.” Keep praying for her (James 5:16), trusting God who alone can change hearts (Ezekiel 36:26).
Donna Williams
Supporter
Dear Anonymous, as a Christian, I understand that this is not an easy thing to face. However, she is still your daughter. I believe that you will win your daughter by showing her unconditional love. It took courage for your daughter to tell you the truth about the lifestyle that she has chosen. May I encourage you to pray for her and believe God for her salvation? I believe that it is an opportunity for God to be glorified! I wouldn't encourage you to put her out of the house, because it will give the enemy an opportunity to make her feel rejected and unloved. May the Lord give you the grace to endure this difficult situation is my prayer!
Billy P Eldred
Supporter
What would I do? The first thing I would do is to ask her if she believes in God. If she says yes, then I would ask her to sit down with me and discuss if she fully understands what she is doing. I would show her in the Bible that what she is doing is an abomination to God, not that she is an abomination, but what she is doing is an abomination. I would emphasize that you love her and more importantly, that God loves her. I would explain to her that even though the feelings that she is having are real, those feelings are not from God. God did not create her in the womb to have those feelings. Those feelings are from a spirit that has been released in this world from the enemy of God. Because God loves her, He gave her a free spirit to choose to act upon those feelings, but there are consequences to doing so. The most important of those consequences is separation from God. But the good news is that God loves her so much that He made a way for her to be set free from those consequences. He sent His Son to die for her so that she can be reconciled to Him and Grace to fight and reject those feelings and choose Him instead. I would tell her that I truly believe that if she were to choose God instead that God would lead her to a man who would help her feel those same feelings for him that the evil spirit is whispering to her are for other women. Finally, I would tell her that because I love her, I would pray for her every day until she comes to me to tell me that those feelings have found a new home in the true love meant for her. I would then ask her to put off acting on those feelings and give God a chance to fill them. If she gave me any other answer than I will try or I will then I would also ask her to refrain from mentioning those feelings to her family. How she answered that request would determine if she was allowed to continue to live in my home. The bigger pain from this conversation would be if she answered no to believing in God. If so, there would have to be a long conversation with her to see how and why she decided she did not believe in God. A personal testimony from me as to why I KNOW there is a God. It would include the reasons I believe that the Bible is a love letter to us, meant to lead us to God, and how so many prophecies in the Bible have come true that it would have been impossible for a group of people to write the Bible without God inspiring it. I would conclude both conversations with a statement that I believe that saying no to those feelings would not be giving up something, but gaining something that would, over time, give her so much more joy!
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