Psalms 141:3: Take control of what I say, O Lord , and guard my lips. James 1:19: Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
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As the question points out, applying the cited principles in the heat of an argument can be difficult, even for Christians. That's why it is necessary to so inculcate those principles into one's thinking and action by conscious effort before any argument even starts to the point where they become "second nature". It also helps in cases of conflict with others to recall the extent to which God has forgiven each of us, and also how we ourselves would like to be addressed concerning perceived offenses (of which the offender may not even be aware).
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