Glenn Harrell Bi-vocational Minister, writer

Mitchell,

Imagine if God could or would say, "I am no longer in love with you."

First off, He would be full within the rights to do so. Our love and faithfulness to Him is often shaky at best. At least one person in the marriage has to understand the meaning of the marriage vows spoken at the ceremony. At least one in the marriage must honor those vows as the covenant it was and still is. 

People don't "fall" in and out of love. People all too often feel good being with someone and interpret this as love. These feelings come and go with time, physical and mental states, as well as circumstances beyond our control. People move in and out of emotions that can make them feel like they are falling--feel like they are in love with someone more than themselves.

We must remember that we are humans, prone to the trappings and blessings of our minds and bodies.

We must remember that we are all sinful and selfish people, bent on personal pleasure over most anything else. If my mate suddenly no longer inspires that "loving feeling", what to do? 

Remember the song--
"You've Lost that Lovin Feeling" by the Righeteous Brothers?
If not, check it out,http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8hjtFq3vE0

This song with lyrics right out of Hollywood's play-book, contributes great affirmation to the ways the world promotes marriage today.
The world preaches that we must place ourselves first. Our spouse is supposed to make us happy and if they cease doing this, then they failed and we must seek another who will become a slave to our emotional well-being. God forbid that I should take on any personal responsibility for my own. Also, I must secure a nuptial agreement and contract that protects me from certain marriage failure when I practice such narcissistic, childish behavior.

The original designer of marriage has a different idea, one not so popular these days. Establish these principles in your heart:

1-I am a sinful and selfish human being. The feeling of what I call love or not love is beside the point. The vow and covenant I made is before me.

2-I married a sinful and selfish human being. The finicky feeling of what he/she calls love is beside the point. The vow and covenant they made is before him/her.

3-The choice of loving someone I committed my life to is at some point less about how I feel and more about my character of faithfulness to God and my spouse.

4-The traditional vows many uses in their ceremony reflect the nature of God. He is permanently committed to loving us, even when we chose not to love Him in return. This is a good place to take an hour of your time. Go and read the book of Hosea. Https://www.biblegateway.com/quicksearch/?quicksearch=Hosea+&qs_version=CEV

5-At no point and under no circumstance must an individual submit him/herself to abuse of any form! Period! If you have been abused and you did not go to the police, you misunderstand marriage and human relationships. Report abuse immediately. If it was you, report yourself. The journey of accountability and counseling is the first step to any personal or marital recovery.

6-Seek a professional counselor who believes the bible to be God's Word and necessary in any meaningful marriage and marriage recovery. Also, visit with your Pastor and other people who have earned your respect and trust for encouragement and further direction.

7-Work on you. Take your eyes and your expectations off your spouse. Even if you believe he/she is responsible for 90% of your woes, you work on your 10% as if it is the 90. Close your personal escape from marriage hatch and lose the key. 

8-Throw away the calendar. Do not put pressure on your mate or your God to meet your anxious time table. "In His Time, He Makes All Things Beautiful."

9-Accept the reality that your spouse may chose not to commit to the relationship. This is out of your control. Tell how you feel but let your mate go to their own journey. Pray for him/her but leave off the pressure. 

10-Matthew 19 Pray and study.

July 31 2015 • 1 response • Vote Up • Share • Report

Julie Walker no specific title

First of all it's important that you both want to stay together. See your preacher, so he can guide you in the right direction and give you godly advice.

Confess your sins, because sin separates us from God, and our prayers go answered, this is important to know. 

Work on your relationship with the Lord; read His word, study, go to worship, Pray, and keep praying. We're blessed to be able to communicate with the God. He wants to hear every detail of your life; He's interested in everything. 

Fully commit your life to the Lord. He will take away the things you used to think were fun, but led to sin. 
If you fully commit your life to the Lord and love him with all your heart, soul and minds, you will feel the peace that only God can give us.

Everything will start to fall in place, including your marriage, 

There are over 697 times the word "love" is used in the NIV version. Love is the first and greatest commandment. You see how important Love is to God. He hates divorce, So, Yes, God can heal a broken marriage, but we have to do our part too. Nothing is impossible with the Lord.

July 31 2015 • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

Billy P Eldred

Wow, what a question! Can the Creator of everything find or even create love in the heart of one grown cold? I have been trying to remember one instance of that in the Bible. God tried for hundreds of years to get the heart of the nation of Israel to return to Him without much success. I guess Jonah might be close, but we never read that Jonah ever stopped loving God, only fled from Him. Paul persecuted Jesus but he thought he was serving God. Maybe Joseph might be a candidate. I don't know if he ever loved or stopped loving Mary but he was willing to cancel the wedding until God straightened out his thinking so that probably qualifies. 

But seriously, God can do all things, therefore it is not a question of could He, rather a question of will He? I believe he gives us a free will and since love is subject to that will, I don't know that He will just change someone's will, UNLESS they submit that will unto Him! If He were willing to just change someone's will, Jesus would not have needed to die. So if you pray to Him about this situation will he ignore your prayer? I don't think so. What needs to happen here is healing. AND WE KNOW GOD HEALS! 

If the one in the question you ask who no longer loves is you, the solution is simple. Submit your will unto God and ask Him to restore your love for your wife. (Not that submission is simple but through prayer and Faith it is possible) Trust Him with all your heart and I believe your prayer will be answered. 

If the person who no longer loves is your wife, then the answer is much more complicated, I believe because then we are dealing with changing someone's will who is not submitting to God. So is all lost? By no means! (Remember it is healing that she needs) I believe that if you sincerely approach God on this matter he will help you to win back her love. Ask him to teach you, change you (not her), help you and help both you and her and if you do so believing and trusting Him, he will help you discover anew the key to her love! But it is going to be up to you (with His help). Don't give up and be atuned to His leading and the miracle you are asking for can come! 

In preparation for the effort that must come from you, I suggest you read "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. It will teach you how to speak your wife's love language and through it it is even possible that you will discover that you both already love one another but are not speaking each other's love language. It could be that God had Mr. Chapman write this book just to answer the prayer you haven't even prayed yet. (And in so doing help thousands of others along the way). Therefore I encourage you to not give up. And get to work! Believing!

April 15 2016 • 1 response • Vote Up • Share • Report