How might I advise someone for whom marriage is not a realistic option, deal with strong sexual desire?
Hello at ebible.com I have a believing friend who struggles with strong sexual desire and who would like to get married for that reason - among others of course. Sadly, however, this person is really messed up mentally and emotionally as far as intimate relationships go, has absolutely no appreciation of what it takes in terms of the confidence and functional interpersonal skills that apply to engaging with the opposite sex in the context of looking for a marriage partner, and who unfortunately, is also not at all physically attractive to the opposite sex. There is no realistic chance (barring a miracle of course) of this person being able to attract a suitable marriage partner. I have no idea of what to say to them from a biblical perspective, of what to do about strong sexual desire when marriage is not on the horizon and probably never will be, nor of what to say in the face of their quite extreme and entrenched social disabilities of which they seem blissfully unaware. Any thoughts you have would be gratefully received. Blessings Richard
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Asked November 15 2020
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Richard Lobwein
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Donna Williams
I would like to say that there are deeper Issues that need to be dealt with before marriage can be considered. From what you have described about your friend, it sounds like there needs to be mental and emotional healing. I would suggest that you seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit before you make any suggestions to your friend. The Holy Spirit is the wisest Counselor there is, and He will give you the wisdom that is necessary to minister effectively, so that your friend will receive the help that is needed. Proverbs 3:5-6, instructs us to acknowledge the Lord in all of our ways, and he will direct our paths. It is possible that he or she may need to seek professional help, but only the Father knows what is best for His children. It is the will of God that His children are made whole, spiritually, physically, and emotionally. I would like to share that God does not judge or choose according to the outward appearance, but He looks at the heart. It is possible to change our outward appearance, but it is more important that we deal with the inner man first. I hope that what I have shared will help you in how you handle the situation. As believers we must allow the Holy Spirit to take control of our spirits, so that we do not handle any situation in the flesh, and make matters worst for anyone. We must be sensitive to the needs of others.
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